Happy Birthday Sophia!!

Happy Birthday to my baby girl!

I can't believe my little girl is 5 yrs old today! Where has the time gone. It seems just like yesterday that I was watching her fight in the NICU and now I'm fighting with her over getting up for school, getting dressed, ect. It's been a long 5 yrs but I wouldn't give them up for anything!

Of course like I do every year on her birthday, I woke up at 12:30am and 3:45am. It just happens on its own. It's weird. But why those 2 times you might ask? 12:30am is when I went into labor and at 3:45am, I was getting ready to push. Sophia was born at 3:48am after 3hrs 18 minutes of labor and 1 push. She was 1 lb 12oz, 13.5 inches long. My miracle girl.

Here is my miracle girl at 1 day old!

and at 5 yrs old!!!

Happy birthday to my sweet girl.

What a weekend!

What a weekend we had. It was soo long!!

Friday night we went to Billy's football game at Bishop Noll. It was a great game! I nearly lost my voice with all the screaming!!! BNI's announcer is the most biased announcer I have ever heard at a high school football game. He would get super excited everytime BNI would score or do something good. He even made a comment about what a good block one of the BNI players made. The refs called so many bullshit calls and our boys played hard. Of course I have to talk about the touchdown that had to be redone 4 times!!!! because of the stupid refs. Finally the 4th time the refs called it as a touchdown. um yeah. In the end, we won 42-39. We were all so proud of the boys. Billy was especially fired up and had the crowd really going. :) He kept yelling Warrior Pride, Do or Die and he stomped back and forth on the sidelines pumping his fists! It was a great night.

Saturday morning we got up early, packed the car and headed to Culver for Jen's wedding. We had SOOO much fun. Sophia and Connor danced all night long. We stayed in a really nice condo with mom and dad. It was 2 bedrooms, but the 2nd bedroom was more of a loft area but had its own bathroom and tub. It was really nice. Sophia was sad that we had to come home today, but she has school and Connor has therapy. We just got home a little while ago and I'm exhausted.

My stepsister and her family are in town from CA for the wedding and we're hoping to get to spend some time with them before they leave to go back. :) We barely got to talk to them at the reception.

Tuesday is Sophia's birthday!! I can't believe it's so close! We told her we might take her to the NICU to visit that day. The nurses at the one she was born at haven't seen her since her first birthday. Quite a difference between then and now. :)

well gonna finish uploading the pics from the wedding. I'll post some tomorrow hopefully. I'm too tired to do it tonight.

A happier Post

Sophia is so happy to be back to school now. She goes to bed so easy on the nights before school. She gets up before I do. She doesn't fight me to get ready or eat breakfast. She loves it! Today she was telling about how they did an apple tasting challenge. They had to try red apples and yellow apples and say which they liked more. Then Mrs E put it on the board like a graph. :)

Connor's doing pretty well with therapy. His speech therapist is just amazed by him! I just wish he would do the same things in OT that he does in speech ie doing the puzzles, stacking blocks, ect. He'll do it for Elaine the ST but not Elona the OT. LOL Oh well. At least he's doing it.

I can't believe their birthdays are almost here! Sophia's going to be 5 in 6 days! 6 DAYS!!!!! I can't believe that 5 yrs ago, I was in the hospital praying that I could hold her in a little longer. Oh and I realized today that she was born on a Tues and her birthday falls on a Tues again this year!! :) weird. So be warned dear blog readers. Tuesday will be filled with Sophia pictures. Birth to present. :) Same goes for Connor's birthday!

well i guess i better go cook dinner or something. I'm hungry. The kids keep sneaking marshmellows out of the pantry. Think I'm gonna have to put a lock on it! LOL

Update to the last post....

Wayne spoke to the friend who called us and made the comment to him. She apologized and said it just didn't come out how she planned it. He is still upset about it, but we both understand why it was said. He said that even though he understands why it was said, it doesn't excuse her for saying it. This is going to be a very difficult time for our friends and they are going to need support from everyone.

Of course, I am still upset over the fact that I am being singled out just because my preemie survived. I'm sorry that her baby didn't make it to viability, but I'm not going to allow people to make me feel bad because mine did. If anything, Wayne and i should be living proof that just because you went through what we did doesn't mean you can't have a healthy baby. Maybe next time, if there is a next time and I hope there is, her doctor will be more proactive and aggressive with monitoring her and giving her a way to make it at least to viability if not beyond. I have a lot of thoughts on the situation but I won't discuss them as I have a feeling this has been read by people I hadnt intended to read it. (yet another reason i wish people who read my blog would comment so I know who is in fact reading)

I promise the next post will be more positive and about MY children.

I have to put this somewhere...

This is not going to be a normal "oh the kids are great, here's what's going on in my life" post. I'm really angry right now so I have to get this out and put it where certain people are not likely to read it.

Wayne and I have some "friends". Well he does I should say. We will call them G and K. Wayne met G while in high school. I met K while in high school as well. Wayne considers G one of his best friends and like a brother. K and I were best friends for 9 yrs. Wayne and I were in G and K's wedding. Something happened(i don't know what) and K stopped being friends with me. Wayne and I got married. Things have slowly gotten worse with the friendship between Wayne and G. K doesn't even acknowledge my existence if we're in the same room.

Fast forward to the past few months.

After a couple of miscarriages, K got pregnant again. Everything was going great until about 2-3 weeks ago. She was put on bedrest at home. Things started to go wrong and she was put in the hospital. Wayne and I told them that since we had gone through the same thing, we would be there for them. No matter how bad the friendships got, they were family to us.

Today we get a call from a mutual friend. K had the baby today at 21weeks. The baby did not survive. It was too early. While my heart grieves for them, I am also very very angry. This mutual friend went on to tell Wayne that while she hopes Wayne will be there to support G, it would probably be best if he kept me away from K for at least 6 months! Why? Because I represent what should have happened with K.

I am so very angry because I feel like I am being made to be the bad guy because my child survived and hers didn't. It doesn't matter that I had Sophia at the very cusp of viability(24 wks) or that I struggled every day with the fact that my child may die and I wouldn't be there. Or even that Sophia struggled every day to survive. I'm sorry their child didn't make it. I'm sorry that they have to bury a child and a part of their heart. But why make me the villian?

Wayne is very upset about this as well. He said it isn't fair that they are going to tell me to stay away but not him. His child survived as well and they aren't telling him to stay away because he represents what they should have had as well. He said that while this is a hard time for him, he is sick of them treating me so poorly. He would never think to treat K like that.

So like I said, while my heart grieves for them, I can't get over this immense anger I have right now. And the anger isn't even aimed at them, but the mutual friend who called to give us the sad news. Maybe she should just keep her opinions to herself and keep her fucking mouth shut! Let G and K decide if they want me around. If they decide that, then they need to call Wayne and tell him. Will it make it any less hurtful? Will I be any less angry about it? No, but at least Wayne can give them a piece of his mind when they do.

Like I said I wouldn't normally put this here, but I can't put it at my other blog because they read that one. I'm not aware of them reading this one and if they do, they can just suck it up and move on.

I will NOT apologize for my child surviving and continuing to thrive despite being born so very early. I shouldn't have to.

It's All Valerie's Fault!

I got tagged by Valerie so now I guess I have to do it.

The Rules:
Link to the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules on your blog.
Tell 6 unspectacular quirks about you.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking to them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged.


1. I am *almost* painfully shy. I am getting better about it.

2. I hate getting my hands wet or dirty. A trait I have passed on to my son, who freaks out when his hands get dirty. :(

3. I can't sit in the backseat of any car. I get horribly ill if I do.

4. I like to be the one doing the driving. I think it's a control thing or something.

5. I'm really good with numbers and spelling.

6. I encourage Sophia's obsession with learning about the human body because I am obsessed with learning about it too.

So now I have to tag people. UGH.. I'm going going to Tag 2 people instead of 6 because I know only 2 other people read my blog lol So I tag Elaina and Sherri

Not again!

School was cancelled AGAIN!

This time it is because Calumet Ave and River Rd are closed. Also, because the school isn't connected to the city, they need to have their septic tank pumped out. ARGH! They are hoping school will be back in session on Monday. It better! Sophia's going nuts here.

My Tupperware party wasn't much of a party. I feel sorry for the girl who did it because almost everything she pulled out, we either all had or had seen before. However, she did make some killer popcorn stuff and Sophia said the salsa she made was good. :) So that's a plus. The only people who showed up was my mom and my 2 sisters. One friend cancelled at last minute. I can't hold against her because she's about 8 months pg. So we'll see what kind of orders I can bring in. *sigh*

Now I'm tired. All I did today was clean. Except when we went to Kmart. Wayne said one of his coworkers got cargo pants for $10 a pair so we went to see if we could get some. They didn't have them at this Kmart. Oh well. I almost bought Connor some new bedding. They had this great crib bedding set that was a sports theme. It was regularly $70, on clearance for $24. The only reason I didn't buy it was because I didn't need the bumper and I can't use the dust ruffle on the toddler bed because of the rails on it. So we're gonna look for a toddler bedding set that is sports themed instead. :)

Okay. I'm gonna go watch some tv and veg. :)