Happy Birthday Sophia!!

Happy Birthday to my baby girl!

I can't believe my little girl is 5 yrs old today! Where has the time gone. It seems just like yesterday that I was watching her fight in the NICU and now I'm fighting with her over getting up for school, getting dressed, ect. It's been a long 5 yrs but I wouldn't give them up for anything!

Of course like I do every year on her birthday, I woke up at 12:30am and 3:45am. It just happens on its own. It's weird. But why those 2 times you might ask? 12:30am is when I went into labor and at 3:45am, I was getting ready to push. Sophia was born at 3:48am after 3hrs 18 minutes of labor and 1 push. She was 1 lb 12oz, 13.5 inches long. My miracle girl.

Here is my miracle girl at 1 day old!

and at 5 yrs old!!!

Happy birthday to my sweet girl.

What a weekend!

What a weekend we had. It was soo long!!

Friday night we went to Billy's football game at Bishop Noll. It was a great game! I nearly lost my voice with all the screaming!!! BNI's announcer is the most biased announcer I have ever heard at a high school football game. He would get super excited everytime BNI would score or do something good. He even made a comment about what a good block one of the BNI players made. The refs called so many bullshit calls and our boys played hard. Of course I have to talk about the touchdown that had to be redone 4 times!!!! because of the stupid refs. Finally the 4th time the refs called it as a touchdown. um yeah. In the end, we won 42-39. We were all so proud of the boys. Billy was especially fired up and had the crowd really going. :) He kept yelling Warrior Pride, Do or Die and he stomped back and forth on the sidelines pumping his fists! It was a great night.

Saturday morning we got up early, packed the car and headed to Culver for Jen's wedding. We had SOOO much fun. Sophia and Connor danced all night long. We stayed in a really nice condo with mom and dad. It was 2 bedrooms, but the 2nd bedroom was more of a loft area but had its own bathroom and tub. It was really nice. Sophia was sad that we had to come home today, but she has school and Connor has therapy. We just got home a little while ago and I'm exhausted.

My stepsister and her family are in town from CA for the wedding and we're hoping to get to spend some time with them before they leave to go back. :) We barely got to talk to them at the reception.

Tuesday is Sophia's birthday!! I can't believe it's so close! We told her we might take her to the NICU to visit that day. The nurses at the one she was born at haven't seen her since her first birthday. Quite a difference between then and now. :)

well gonna finish uploading the pics from the wedding. I'll post some tomorrow hopefully. I'm too tired to do it tonight.

A happier Post

Sophia is so happy to be back to school now. She goes to bed so easy on the nights before school. She gets up before I do. She doesn't fight me to get ready or eat breakfast. She loves it! Today she was telling about how they did an apple tasting challenge. They had to try red apples and yellow apples and say which they liked more. Then Mrs E put it on the board like a graph. :)

Connor's doing pretty well with therapy. His speech therapist is just amazed by him! I just wish he would do the same things in OT that he does in speech ie doing the puzzles, stacking blocks, ect. He'll do it for Elaine the ST but not Elona the OT. LOL Oh well. At least he's doing it.

I can't believe their birthdays are almost here! Sophia's going to be 5 in 6 days! 6 DAYS!!!!! I can't believe that 5 yrs ago, I was in the hospital praying that I could hold her in a little longer. Oh and I realized today that she was born on a Tues and her birthday falls on a Tues again this year!! :) weird. So be warned dear blog readers. Tuesday will be filled with Sophia pictures. Birth to present. :) Same goes for Connor's birthday!

well i guess i better go cook dinner or something. I'm hungry. The kids keep sneaking marshmellows out of the pantry. Think I'm gonna have to put a lock on it! LOL

Update to the last post....

Wayne spoke to the friend who called us and made the comment to him. She apologized and said it just didn't come out how she planned it. He is still upset about it, but we both understand why it was said. He said that even though he understands why it was said, it doesn't excuse her for saying it. This is going to be a very difficult time for our friends and they are going to need support from everyone.

Of course, I am still upset over the fact that I am being singled out just because my preemie survived. I'm sorry that her baby didn't make it to viability, but I'm not going to allow people to make me feel bad because mine did. If anything, Wayne and i should be living proof that just because you went through what we did doesn't mean you can't have a healthy baby. Maybe next time, if there is a next time and I hope there is, her doctor will be more proactive and aggressive with monitoring her and giving her a way to make it at least to viability if not beyond. I have a lot of thoughts on the situation but I won't discuss them as I have a feeling this has been read by people I hadnt intended to read it. (yet another reason i wish people who read my blog would comment so I know who is in fact reading)

I promise the next post will be more positive and about MY children.

I have to put this somewhere...

This is not going to be a normal "oh the kids are great, here's what's going on in my life" post. I'm really angry right now so I have to get this out and put it where certain people are not likely to read it.

Wayne and I have some "friends". Well he does I should say. We will call them G and K. Wayne met G while in high school. I met K while in high school as well. Wayne considers G one of his best friends and like a brother. K and I were best friends for 9 yrs. Wayne and I were in G and K's wedding. Something happened(i don't know what) and K stopped being friends with me. Wayne and I got married. Things have slowly gotten worse with the friendship between Wayne and G. K doesn't even acknowledge my existence if we're in the same room.

Fast forward to the past few months.

After a couple of miscarriages, K got pregnant again. Everything was going great until about 2-3 weeks ago. She was put on bedrest at home. Things started to go wrong and she was put in the hospital. Wayne and I told them that since we had gone through the same thing, we would be there for them. No matter how bad the friendships got, they were family to us.

Today we get a call from a mutual friend. K had the baby today at 21weeks. The baby did not survive. It was too early. While my heart grieves for them, I am also very very angry. This mutual friend went on to tell Wayne that while she hopes Wayne will be there to support G, it would probably be best if he kept me away from K for at least 6 months! Why? Because I represent what should have happened with K.

I am so very angry because I feel like I am being made to be the bad guy because my child survived and hers didn't. It doesn't matter that I had Sophia at the very cusp of viability(24 wks) or that I struggled every day with the fact that my child may die and I wouldn't be there. Or even that Sophia struggled every day to survive. I'm sorry their child didn't make it. I'm sorry that they have to bury a child and a part of their heart. But why make me the villian?

Wayne is very upset about this as well. He said it isn't fair that they are going to tell me to stay away but not him. His child survived as well and they aren't telling him to stay away because he represents what they should have had as well. He said that while this is a hard time for him, he is sick of them treating me so poorly. He would never think to treat K like that.

So like I said, while my heart grieves for them, I can't get over this immense anger I have right now. And the anger isn't even aimed at them, but the mutual friend who called to give us the sad news. Maybe she should just keep her opinions to herself and keep her fucking mouth shut! Let G and K decide if they want me around. If they decide that, then they need to call Wayne and tell him. Will it make it any less hurtful? Will I be any less angry about it? No, but at least Wayne can give them a piece of his mind when they do.

Like I said I wouldn't normally put this here, but I can't put it at my other blog because they read that one. I'm not aware of them reading this one and if they do, they can just suck it up and move on.

I will NOT apologize for my child surviving and continuing to thrive despite being born so very early. I shouldn't have to.

It's All Valerie's Fault!

I got tagged by Valerie so now I guess I have to do it.

The Rules:
Link to the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules on your blog.
Tell 6 unspectacular quirks about you.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking to them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged.


1. I am *almost* painfully shy. I am getting better about it.

2. I hate getting my hands wet or dirty. A trait I have passed on to my son, who freaks out when his hands get dirty. :(

3. I can't sit in the backseat of any car. I get horribly ill if I do.

4. I like to be the one doing the driving. I think it's a control thing or something.

5. I'm really good with numbers and spelling.

6. I encourage Sophia's obsession with learning about the human body because I am obsessed with learning about it too.

So now I have to tag people. UGH.. I'm going going to Tag 2 people instead of 6 because I know only 2 other people read my blog lol So I tag Elaina and Sherri

Not again!

School was cancelled AGAIN!

This time it is because Calumet Ave and River Rd are closed. Also, because the school isn't connected to the city, they need to have their septic tank pumped out. ARGH! They are hoping school will be back in session on Monday. It better! Sophia's going nuts here.

My Tupperware party wasn't much of a party. I feel sorry for the girl who did it because almost everything she pulled out, we either all had or had seen before. However, she did make some killer popcorn stuff and Sophia said the salsa she made was good. :) So that's a plus. The only people who showed up was my mom and my 2 sisters. One friend cancelled at last minute. I can't hold against her because she's about 8 months pg. So we'll see what kind of orders I can bring in. *sigh*

Now I'm tired. All I did today was clean. Except when we went to Kmart. Wayne said one of his coworkers got cargo pants for $10 a pair so we went to see if we could get some. They didn't have them at this Kmart. Oh well. I almost bought Connor some new bedding. They had this great crib bedding set that was a sports theme. It was regularly $70, on clearance for $24. The only reason I didn't buy it was because I didn't need the bumper and I can't use the dust ruffle on the toddler bed because of the rails on it. So we're gonna look for a toddler bedding set that is sports themed instead. :)

Okay. I'm gonna go watch some tv and veg. :)

Cancelled again!

School has been cancelled for Sophia again. I spoke to her teacher tonight. She said the building is fine, but the parking lot is still flooded. Also getting to the school is hard because the main road is closed. We could go around the back way but the road next to the school is flooded as well. They are hoping to resume school on Friday.

The cool thing is that her teacher's son set up a "blind" email account for her to contact us in the event of school closings. It was supposed to be for the winter and snowstorms. Who knew we'd have to put it into effect the 2nd week of school!! They've only gone to school 2 days!!

When I told Sophia tonight that there was no school tomorrow, she sat at the table and cried. Poor thing. She loves going to school so much and it breaks my heart to see her so sad. Daddy made her feel better by sharing his milkshake with her during dinner. lol

Oh and both kids have colds now. Connor was running a fever yesterday and this morning. They both have runny noses and congestion. So maybe it's a good thing she didn't go to school.

Tomorrow is my Tupperware party and Connor will have therapy with both therapists. Elona cancelled on Monday because she is slightly affected by all the flooding as well. She was able to get out of her neighborhood but didn't know how she would get back in. Several roads are open now so it won't be an issue tomorrow.

better get my butt to bed. Therapy is at 9am and that comes earlier than you think when you stay up late.

Momma's Boy

While I will admit that I love that my little boy is a momma's boy, it is also a bit of a pain in the butt. Like when I have to "sneak" out of the house to go anywhere by myself otherwise he screams bloody murder. Or like when it's 10pm and he wakes up crying and wants Mommy to lay with him and if I so much as change positions he checks to be sure I'm still there. Or when you finally have had enough and you let him lay on your bed for a little while and watch football because it's the only way you can go to the bathroom without him screaming. Or when you finally put him back in his own bed, still awake, and he cries Momma for a while and finally gets quiet.

But then there are the times when he will run up to me and throw his arms around my head and kiss me and run off. Or that he told me "i lulu" first. Yes that is supposed to be I love you. lol Or that he loves to cuddle with me and watch tv. Even if it is as his sister calls it "mom tv". Or when he falls down and the only person he wants is momma.

Those times far outweigh the crabby, clingy momma's boy times, but I will take both and enjoy every minute because he is my baby.

poor daddy though because we have a momma's boy AND a momma's GIRL! lol

She is NOT going to be happy!

Sophia is not going to be happy. They cancelled school for tomorrow. ALL day today she kept asking if she could go to school. Then, her teacher calls and leaves a voicemail telling us that school has been cancelled for tomorrow but they should be okay for Wed.

So I guess we will do something school related. Maybe paint, draw, something. We worked on her alphabet flashcards earlier. I even did them out of order and she knew all but 2 of them. :) I think she just didn't want to tell me what they were. She even knew some of the lowercase letters. :) She's a smarty that one. :)

Tomorrow is our anniversary. 7 yrs! Yippie. Hoping to go out to lunch or something since Wayne has to work. Depends on if mom will watch the kids or not. I hope so.

Okay. off to look up a recipe to make for dinner tonight. :)

The first week

We made it through the first week of school! YAY!

Sophia is enjoying it so far. I'm very impressed because today she brought home her worksheet and they are working on the letter A. She actually wrote one all by herself! Go Sophia! She's also happy because one of the boys she liked from last year (her "boyfriend") is in her class again this year. His name is Noah and he's such a cutie. The first day he walked over to where she was sitting and said hi to her. :)

Now she's saying she doesn't want to do cheerleading. I'm not going to push it. It will be easier if she does it next year anyways because then we will have 2 cars again and I won't have to depend on anyone to give her rides.

Looking forward to my tupperware party on Wednesday. Should be fun. I hope I have a decent amount of people show up. :)

Sophia video

So I had made this video of Sophia a couple years ago. I really need to update it but I can't seem to get through it when I watch it close to her bday without crying. Enjoy!

First(actual) day of School!

Today is the first real day of school!

Sophia is so excited! She was awake before I walked in her room. She ate her breakfast without argument and then went in her room and got dressed in the outfit I had laid out. Without being told to!!! WOOHOO!!!! She's been walking around with her backpack on all morning. Silly girl!

So here she is on her first day of PreK!

One down, a whole year to go!

Sophia was so excited to go to school today! So much so that when it was time to come home after we met with her teacher, she didn't want to go home! :) I just hope she continues with this excitement!

We're almost 100% sure she's going to start cheerleading lessons next week. It will all be decided if my mom can help take her to classes. If not, then we'll have to figure something out. I'm not keen on the idea of having to take Wayne to work and pick him up at midnight just to have the car but if I have to, I guess I will. ONLY if she likes it!

so for those of you who are not football fans or were living under a rock if you live in the chicago/northwest indiana area, then you know that the Colts lost last night to the bears. :( I was soo upset. I won't make up excuses, but I know there's a reason(or 5) of why they didn't play so well. They'll win next time!

Okay. I'm not feeling well so I'm going to take my butt to bed.

One more day!!

The time has come.

Sophia starts school tomorrow! She's excited about it so that makes me happy.

She is also going to be starting cheerleading classes next week hopefully. I need to call and find out more information and then we will register her. My mom said she would help out with giving her rides if she can when Wayne has to work. I HATE having only one car. It sucks big time!

Tonight is the first Colts game of the season. Naturally Sophia is wearing her Manning jersey. Quite the brave girl since she's over at Uncle Todd's with my mom and he's a Bears fan. Billy is over there too and he's a Bears fan as well. GO COLTS! LOL I told Sophia she can stay up and watch the game til 8pm then it was off to bed. Hopefully Wayne will watch the game with me too. :)

One more week!

Yes it's been a while, but I've been trying to enjoy the end of summer with the kids.

Sophia starts her 2nd year of preschool on the 8th. The first day is actually a meet the teacher/ review the rules/ information day. We'll only be there for an hour. She'll get to meet her new classmates, see if any of the kids from last year have returned, and see the classroom again. It's the same place as last year so that's a plus. Meanwhile, the parents(that's me!) will go in another room and talk to the teacher. Well mostly listen as the teacher talks.

Wednesday, the 10th will be the first actual day of class. She has to be there at 8:55 and will go until 11:30. This will be every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I hope she enjoys it as much this year as she did last year! :)

I'm dreading how Connor reacts to this and how long it takes him to adjust. Sophia spent the night at Grandma's yesterday and all night long he walked around the house asking "where sissy?" He adores his sissy and is so sad when she's not here. Hopefully by having his OT on mon and speech on Wed while she's in school it won't be so bad. The really hard part will come when I go back to work. Then he won't have Mommy or Sissy home with him. :( My poor little boy. At least it will give him and Daddy a chance to hang out without us girl!

So that's what's going on here. :)